her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's blow job season.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
