i may or may not be watching the land before time
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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