Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
