I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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