for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
