So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
