I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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