After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize