i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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