that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
