just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
