Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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