Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
