I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are the jesus of drinking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
