is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
