i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
