omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
