Who wears a wallet chain?!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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