My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
