your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
