I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nutella sex= disaster
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize