I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
