youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
