Where are you?
In a non slutty way
this boner is exhausting
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize