**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
