i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize