Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it's like iHOP with fire
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
