YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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