is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
