I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize