the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
