can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
