You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
