shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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