____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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