it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
