BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
