I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
