Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
