Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
