they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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