Kareoke will never be a sober sport
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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