I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
