That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize