Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just had sex on a roof
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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