I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
