I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
