I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
