No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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