On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
