she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
