How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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