if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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