chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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