I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
