very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize