There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
