I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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