I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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