He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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